The Cullen Diaries
by socks-luvva-1996
Summary: With the Cullen family, even the simplest of things can go wrong. 17 year old Bella Swan knows this better than most. But things are about to get worse as Bella discovers a dark family secret. Who can she trust in this dangerous and exiting new world?
1. Chapter 1 Vodka & Washing machines

The Cullen Diaries

With the Cullen family, even the simplest of things can go wrong. 17 year old Bella Swan knows this better than most. But things are about to get worse as Bella discovers a dark family secret. A secret that has stayed hidden from her, throughout her life. Who can she trust in this dangerous and exhilarating new world?

This is my first fanfic. I hope you will like it. All reviews are very welcome.

Chapter 1- Vodka & washing machines?

Bella's P.O.V- I was in a very good mood as I hopped up the porch steps to the Cullen mansion. I had a feeling that today was going to be an amusing day. I flung open the door and bounded into the front room. As I sauntered in, I collided with a mischievous looking Emmett. He was definitely up to something.

"Emmett, what have you done?" I asked suspiciously.

"NOTHING!" he yelled in my face. I decided to let it pass. Instead, I went to sit on Edward's lap.

"Good morning beautiful," he whispered in my ear.

"So Alice, we're all here, now what is it that you want us to do?" Rosalie asked impatiently.

"We're going to play truth or dare!" Alice screamed, jumping up and down in excitement. I really didn't like this game, the dares were always really lame and nobody ever picked truth anyways why not call it what it was, dare someone to do something stupid and laugh when they do it. Ok as a name for a game it was a bit long but it suited my purpose right now. Honestly, we were going to play that stupid game. AGAIN! Oh well. There was no point arguing with Alice when Jasper's around to play with my emotions to agree into playing their games.

"Okay," I called knowing that they could hear me. "And Emmett, don't go getting any funny ideas, Alice wait for me, I'm just going to get a drink before we start." I heard booming laughter and the ground beneath me trembled. I skipped off to the kitchen, and found a glass filled with a clear liquid. I downed it in one gulp.

Emmett's P.O.V- Bells has just gone to get a drink, then we're going to star- Oh shit! I left my glass of Vodka in the kitchen earlier. An experiment. I wanted to know if alcohol worked on vampires. If Bella has drunk that- I quickly pushed that thought out of my head before Eddie could catch it. Instead I rushed to the kitchen. It was empty. It had only been 18 seconds since Bella had entered the kitchen. I heard muffled laughter, then caught sight of a face in the washing machine. I opened it up and an excited looking Bella tumbled out. Then I saw the empty glass. Shit, she did drink it. Edward's gunna kill me.

"EMMETT!" Edward shouted. Uh oh. Time to confess. "Edward I-"

"Will you PLEASE stop singing 'I know a song that will get on your nerves,' it's getting on my nerves and driving me crazy."

"That's the point!" I screamed in his face. Oh. My. God, the whole point of it being called that is because it's MEANT to get on your nerves. Some people just don't get it.

Bella's P.O.V- Ooooh, I want to play truth or dare, truth ore dare, truth or dare. I ran back into the front room and tripped over something, my own feet probably and landed face-first in front of the Cullens.

Emmett's P.O.V- Oh. My. God. Bella's so funny when she's drunk! "Emmett!" Edward yelled. "you got her DRUNK?"

"Yea… it was hilarious, you see, she drank this vodka that was meant to be mine, and got herself stuck in the washing machine!" By this time, Eddie was chasing me around the house, with Bellsy- Who was wearing a lampshade on her head, which I assumed she thought was a hat- shouting,

"HI PINGU! HARRY POTTER SHOULD GO TO SPECSAVERS! CHOCOLATE SOAP, OOOOH I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE SOAP! AND WHERE'S MY PET BADGER?" She turned on me.

"WHERE IS HE!" She yelled at me.

"Ummmm Bella, I hate to break it to you, but you don't have a pet badger." I said, trying (but failing) to hold back my laughter.

"YES I DO! BUT YOU'VE NEVER SEEN HIM BECAUSE HE'S SHY, AND ANYWAY, HE WOULDN'T LIKE YOU, HE HATES BIG FAT UGLY VAMPIRES!" And with that, she stalked off.

3 minutes later, and Bella was on her hands and knees, looking for her pet badger, which she claimed was called 'Frazzle' and hated loud noise. Meanwhile, Eddie had been chasing me around the house, hurling abuse at me.

By the time Eddie had finished chasing me, Bella had calmed down enough to talk like a normal human. Eddie had calmed down considerably thanks to Jasper.

"And stop calling me Eddie!" Edward added. Everyone burst into laughter, but Bella just sat on the floor, legs outstretched, and she was holding something. A badger? But…but… I thought that was just a load of rubbish coming from her mouth from when she was intoxicated. Obviously not. I laughed at the sight of her face, she looked smug with a hint of annoyance. It was definitely a 'I told you so and don't try to deny it because me and everyone else in this room heard you say it too,' kinda look. I felt defeated and deflated. I couldn't believe that I (yes, I) had been defeated by a girl- (human at that.) Bella stood up slowly, walked over to me, arms outstretched, supporting the badger. When she reached me, she raised her arms and placed the badger on my head.

"There you go Frazzle." She said softly. Then she turned to face me.

"I told you that he was real." She whispered in a convincing tone. And with a flick of her hair, and a turn on the heel of her shoe, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2 Truth or Dare, Cullen style

Chapter 2- Truth or Dare, Cullen style

Bella's P.O.V- As I stomped off in the opposite direction to Emmett, to go stand next to Edward on the opposite side of the room, thoughts of how I could kill Emmett washed through my brain. Edward and Alice chuckle harmoniously. I could feel myself getting hot, I looked away, embarrassed. I lifted my head, stared straight at him, -he looked exasperated- and gave him my best 'someday-I-am-going-to-kill-you-but-not-today' look, then returned to staring at the floor.

Alice's P.O.V- This is going to be so fun. I can see it, everything will turn out according to plan, no-one will get hurt, I don't think so anyway. It takes a lot of genius to come up with my-standard of dares. It takes it out of a girl. Well, better get going, got vampires (and one human) to embarrass!

Emmett's P.O.V- "I'll go first. Edward, truth or dare?" I questioned. I hoped he'd go for dare, I had the best idea.

"Fine Emmett, I'll go for your dare" he sighed. YES! now to put my brilliant plan into action.

"Edward, I dare you to paint your Volvo florescent pink and write in black along the side, 'I am gay.' Oh and you have to drive around in it all week! That's your dare." His eyes just about popped out of his head when he heard. Wonderful, just the reaction I was hoping for. I was grinning like a mad man.

" O…kay?" He answered, still unsure. I disappeared up to my room where the pink and black paint was. I was back in half a second, Bella didn't even notice that I had gone.

"Here's the pink paint," I said, placing the tin in his left hand. "And the black," I placed the other pot in his right hand. We all came to watch. A minute later, he spun round and gestured grandly to his newly decorated Volvo. Rose looked bored, Bella shocked, Jasper and I were in hysterics, and Alice's face conveyed no emotion whatsoever. This was great!

Jasper's P.O.V- "It's my turn now." Edward said. Trust him to state the obvious. I mean, come on, get on with it!

"Jasper," he said turning to me. Oh no. "Truth or-"

"Dare" I finished for him, exasperated. He smiled wickedly. Oh crap.

"I dare you to kiss Emmett! for a minute!" He yelled then burst into loud guffaws. There was no way I was going to kiss Emmett, no way! I'm not gay. Mock was clearly displayed on his face.

"I AM NOT GAY!" I yelled. Everyone turned around to face me like I had gone crazy, they had obviously not heard the dare. "I have to kiss Emmett" I announced. Everyone's stares turned into bursts of laughter, Even Carlisle couldn't contain his laughter.

"Emmett, get over here!" I said. Emmett came bounding at me, knocking me, and sending me flying. Then he was in front of me. After a full minute, I kicked him, hard. By this time everyone was in hysterics. I shot Edward my best dirty look.


End file.
